Potty Training-Overcoming Refusal
Congratulations! So far your child has been introduced to the concept of potty training and you have established strategies to motivate your child through, Part I and Part II of My Baby Coach’s potty training series. A major challenge that many parents face through potty training is when a child refuses to proceed with training. There are many reasons why your child may refuse the potty, which range from inconsistency, a negative experience, or they may not be emotionally or mentally ready.
During potty training there will be accidents and times when your child resists-this is normal. Children can also develop fears about using the potty, such as the sound of the toilet flushing, painful bowel movements, or negative interactions. To establish the cause for refusal; observe and take mental note of the times when your child resists. You may find a pattern of behavior that is delaying the process. It is important to encourage and reassure your child when accidents happen and avoid forcing your child to use the potty when they refuse. Once you have determined what the refusal triggers are, focus on overcoming those challenges. For example, if you notice that your reactions may be negative during the process; stay calm, encouraging and do not push the issue. If your child seems fearful of the toilet or flushing try a potty chair or think of a fun flushing the toilet song/game. Find out what motivates your child through incentives and make the process fun.
Consistency is key, potty training needs to be a part of your child’s schedule several times a day. If you take days off from training, so will your child. Children who are in day care may have a more challenging time with training when consistency is not in place. Maintain good communication with your child’s teachers to stay consistent from home to day care. If your child is wearing underpants at home and pull-ups at day care this creates confusion for your child.
Get your child more involved with their own self-help skills. Pull-ups are a good start, but some would suggest going “cold turkey”-meaning regular use of underpants. This helps children to be more aware of cause and effect, thus making them more likely to recognize sensations and the result of wetting their clothes. Of course this strategy has it’s “pit falls” as it can get messy, but your child can also be included in the clean-up process as well; with positive encouragement of course.
For children who have completely refused to proceed with potty training, stop the training for a few weeks and continue with the introduction tips from “Potty Training the Introduction.” When you think your child has regained interest, start the process again.
Thinking about your child, potty training may be the biggest responsibility that they have had thus far. It does not come easy for most children as there are many facets to their development, which play a role in the challenges of training. Toddlers are learning about themselves and the world around them. They are constantly making connections, processing, practicing and mastering skills; this same notion is applied to potty training as well. Avoid comparing your child to others or putting high level expectations on an individually paced transition. Your child can be successful at potty training with positive guidance, encouragement, and consistency.
Feel free to take a look at the one on one coaching services that I provide and contact me at mybabycoach.co@gmail.com with any questions.
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